EXCUSE ME, SOUTHWEST!?! I NEED TO KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON!

If you were wondering if I am a marathon runner, I'm not. However, if you were wondering if I'm an excess marathon traveler, you are correct. 

Friday night the.tamer and I decided it necessary to go and see The Dark Knight Rises at 9:40pm. We didn't really acknowledge that this movie is, in fact, quite long. Whilest waiting in line, there was a fabio-esque character behind us. He was holding a conspicuous plastic Barnes and Noble shopping bag and listening to his own ear buds. He was alone, and his fly was also undone. When I noticed this, I informed the.tamer, but couldn't inform him because he was, in fact, behind me, and I literally hadn't looked at him face-on the entire time. Hey sir, I'm a creep and your fly is down. So upon entering the theatre, we realized he was seated only a row in front of us and a few seats to the left. All of the sudden, as we noticed his location, we both stuttered, "UMMMMMmmmm," at the same time. We were seeing his profile. His profile that was blatantly similar to Christian Bale. Christian Bale about 10 years ago. BUT STILL. IS CHRISTIAN BALE YOUR UNCLE?! IS YOUR UNCLE CHRISTIAN BALE IN THAT BARNES AND NOBLE BAG?!? WHERE IS CHRISTIAN!?
Here he is....pose and all. I know the photo is dark....but it's him. OBVIOUSLY.

Upon leaving the show, we persisted to scream things that we could have yelled at Christian (what we were calling, and are still calling, the look alike). I was laughing so hard I was crying, and could barely see the road as I was driving.

It's safe to say, I immediately regretted the decision to not inform him about the whole open crotchal region thing. 

I got to bed at about 2:00am. I awoke about 3:00am with an insane charlie horse. After stretching that out for a bit, I fell back to sleep and woke up out of a Dark Knight dream to my phone going off at 4:45am. Wakey Wakey!! Time to pack up the car and go retrieve alexxia.la.la from the airport. I had two 10 gallon totes and a huge suitcase to fit into the vehicle (I moved some stuff home to lighten the load when I move out in two weeks) and my backpack/laundry basket combo. Let's just say the VACUUM and TWO BAG CHAIRS and GAS CAN and OTHER SHIT we keep in the car provided some problems. I eventually man-handled the vacuum enough to get it all in and still have room for my two passengers. I took off from Cambridge Avenue about 5:28am. As I drove I watched the red sun rise over the lake. Pretty damn early, but very pretty. Turns out alexxia.la.la was watching out the plane window!

We stopped for gas and food. (As you can see in the background of the photo). Now, we've been over how the gas gauge doesn't work in the car. So when we got out, I annouonced, "This is a fun game we like to play called 'Get Gas.'" Alexxia.la.la was a little disgusted by my lack of cleaning the windshield, so he insisted upon cleaning it for me. I didn't complain. And, let's be honest, I'm wasn't going to do it.

 

Alexxia.la.la was joking about his "new skills," (pictured below) learned in California. We joked with him about his, "Big life in show biz," (heavy on the air quotes). And, my friends, this is what show biz looks like: 

Disclaimer: He doesn't actually wash windshields for a living. But...maybe he'll consider it now.
We got back in the car and Alexxia.la.la yelled, "Let's get this road trip back on the....ROAD!" He, of course, realized at about "back on the," that he'd gone too far, but you can't turn back when you get there. Just commit. 

After eating...let me rephrase. QUITE LONG after eating, Alexxia.la.la looked down and said, "I have cheese all over my crotch!" And THEN, about 30 minutes later, he shifted and said, "I just found another piece of cheese on my crotch!" He gathered it all up and tossed it out the window...both times.

Some of my favorite things about the trip include the signs we pass on the way. My favorite of this trip, "Ice Cream - Worms - Chicken."

We had all slept about 2 1/2 hours. So we called ourselves the two and a half hour bandwagon. No big deal. My sister and her family arrived shortly after us. This led to an immediate lego extravaganza.

When we arrived at the hall where my grandparent's 50th anniversary party was going to be, a marathon round of photo taking began. Alexxia.la.la entertained a child...

K.dawg took over the camera while her mother was being photographed. She executed it beautifully.

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100 pink roses, linen napkins, star wars legos, sippy cups....

My grandmother had her wedding dress on display as well.
I love seeing my grandparents dance. They're so adorable, and of course in love. They are one of the hugest pillars my life is built around, as is their love for each other and our family.

I also loved watching the.tamer and my nephew dance. He liked being spun around. Pretty much the entire time. 

After the party we all went over to my grandparent's house for more family fun time. More entertaining of the children, more drinks, more laughter, more of my favorite things.

We presented my grandparent's with a photo book that the.tamer had put together for them. It is filled with pictures of us with them through the years.

At the end of the night, tiger.tiger.burning.bright was feeling like we were maybe making fun of him. So, as he got up to leave, he yelled, "Well I've gotta go, I've been made fun of enough of!" So...we made fun of him for that, too. If you are a member of my family, you better be prepared to be made fun of. Because if I'm not making fun of you, I don't like you.
Anyway, he took off for the door...and then started prancing in an...interesting manner.

My aunt scolded me for photographing him, and therefore encouraging him, whilest he did his performance. He then laid down on the steps in this classy and seductive, yet refined pose for her. 

I'm pretty sure I could never remember all the glorious one-liners that came out this weekend, but this is a good start.