I'm a wreck made out of pudding and cream cheese

So I got back to Stout on Monday, yes we all know. But what none of us were prepared for was how much of a PHENOMENAL WRECK I would be. I haven't unpacked my clothing bags yet, so both mornings when I tried to get ready for work I couldn't find my underwear. Now you'd think that I would have figured out after the first time that I should unpack said baggage. Nope. Still didn't do it.
Tuesday at work I was pretty much starving the whole time and when I went home to eat (thinking I'd come back after said "lunch break") I immediately removed my tights and laid down with my leftover steak and raviolis and dove into some SVU. Yeah so obviously after I finished eating I didn't get up and I decided I'd take a quick snooze. POOF, it's 5:30 and I've been sleeping for three hours. Also my boss left the office an hour ago and the day is over.
So then e.jo and I decided to go to the grocery store. Yeah I spent like six million dollars on vegetables, a scale (gotta keep up with weight watchers!), a fan, 200 cans of diet coke and some sour cream. Oh and smart ones due to the coupon I had that gave me basically one free one if I buy EIGHT.
So I head on home, tear open the HEALTHY bag of off-brand funyuns I bought and have a ball chopping up the broccoli. (Yes, I am SPECIAL and I love to chop vegetables. Somehow it is relaxing for me)
Then I realize it's 9:00pm and I'm planting basil and parsley when I haven't even had dinner yet. (I'm starting a mini herb garden because I've been obsessed with plants since the 6th grade when we grew and pollinated some sort of flower) So after a quick search I find the only easy thing would be some hamburger helper. After attempting some portion control with that I attacked some Clancy's Party Mix and called it a day.
This morning!
Ugh I wake up to my alarm at 8:45. It's a respectable time to get up and get ready, but no, I stay in bed hitting snooze until NINE FOURTY. e.jo and I are texting back and forth about how we don't want to get out of bed. Glad I'm not the only one. I finally got up and started getting ready. Due to the extreme humidity developing outdoors I could feel my hair doubling in size every seven seconds. I figured screw it and threw it up in a disgusting bun. Then I attempt to make my lunch for the day. Yeah I hadn't washed any lettuce so I had to do that, and chop up an entire roma and some scallions (hello yum breath) and a hard boiled egg (I accidentally took an 18 count carton of hard boiled eggs from my parents house. like I said. WRECK). All this while I simultaneously make an egg and some turkey bacon for breakfast. Oh yes and I'm in my bra and underwear. Minimal clothing + bacon (even though the turkey variation is minimal splatter) seemed to be a dismal plan, but I didn't stop. After packing up the salad I realize I didn't put any cheese on it! I have romano AND bleu! HOW CAN SOMEONE FORGET THAT.
I got to the landlord's office just in time to see them driving away, but they stopped and took my rent check. After I stepped into a huge mud puddle in my flip flop laden foot. (as a result I've refused to wear shoes around the office since I got here, only when I visit the bathroom do I put on these hell shoes)
So I'm trying to work, but now boss has a visitor and I have no more tasks. Except for this huge list that I'm ignoring. I emailed boss and told her I'm blogging while I wait for her to finish.
I should probably put more money in the meter...the last thing CRAZY needs is a ticket.