Monday, May 7, 2012

I want to meet Bigfoot


Over the past two years or so I've been having some major deja vu. These experiences have been extremely vivid, and usually I can remember the instance in which the activity took place before. Mostly I can remember distinct moments in dreams that play in my head like a video clip as I'm experiencing the instance. I know most people forget their dreams soon after waking up. I do that very often. However, there are some that stick in my head. In middle school I kept a dream journal for months. This helped me remember the dreams much easier. I still remember one dream I had during that time, it was about me having a baby that I named Zaviour Jason. I've since discontinued writing down my dreams, although I'm not really sure why, it was an excellent practice.
The most recent incident was this past weekend. It was a series of moments on Saturday night when my family and friends were all congregating at my apartment to celebrate my last fashion show here at Stout. Although I usually can't remember the exact statements that are made, I can always feel myself in the place and I usually see the room/environment from my dream in my head while I'm seeing what is happening in real time. (This description seems to be getting slightly muddled, but don't blame me, blame Monsterquest because it's distracting me). This particular instance involved boss talking, my mom and I think my sister. And the dream was a very old one. Usually the dream is more current, however this one was definitely from high school or earlier. I don't want to be too definitive with it but I am more inclined to think it was from pre-middle school, but I can't pinpoint why I think that. I know this sounds super sketch and probably like a basic deja vu, but the feeling is much more intense. It's hard to describe what happens in your own head, and that is what I'm struggling with currently. Also the fact that I didn't have any experiences like this early in life is puzzling to me. I've really only experienced this in my adult life. However, in my childhood I had multiple unexplained experiences. These things usually scared me and were mostly written off as nightmares and terrors and my innate fear of the dark (which still runs full force). I can still see vividly in my head one certain repeated experience in my childhood home. I also used to have dreams where everything was dark and almost had a gritty texture to it. In those dreams everything moved very fast and my mind would race, my breathing would quicken and I would wake up and be awake for a long time. I still have moments where those dreams come back and I have a very hard time settling down and regaining control of my thoughts. Usually once something is in my head it's there for a couple days if not longer. Now that I've explored that in a vague manner, I'm going to watch more Monsterquest.

1 comment:

  1. And I am POSITIVE that your fear of the dark had nothing to do with me forcing you to sit in the dark furnace room as a child...

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