This girl needs a lovah

Hi my name is Sarah Eileen and I am a perpetual homecoming avoider.
I was really into school spirit in high school, but nay nay I'm not into it anymore. Especially because in college I feel like it gets taken to a WHOLE NEW not so classy level. I'm not gonna say slutty, but you're thinking it, so I will. (disclaimer: I am not saying everyone participating is slutty, I'm just saying there's a whole lot of that happening, plus I don't think I'd win a fight with a bro, which I would probably inevitably find myself attempting to do)
Anyways, there is so much goddamn hype exploding about homecoming, so this weekend I'm holed up in my apartment doing patterns and perhaps drinking some homemade apple wine courtesy of my mama and my papa. Meanwhile everyone else will be out wearing their various t-shirts. Don't get me wrong I'm all for enjoying yourself, I'm just not comfortable in that setting. I will probably have just as much fun parading around my apartment in my underwear (due to lack of roommate), patterning, sewing, cooking and perhaps frolicking on the red cedar trail (After homework is done of course). Me and Gaga, we gonn have a party. (Or, as my not-ugly-in-any-way biology professor would say: Miss Guh-GAH (LOVE IT))
OOO! Maybe I'll carve a pumpkin! I currently have three in my apartment (what's wrong with hoarding pumpkins?!). I bought them for purpose of making pumpkin pie all year long....but I want to carve one now. I'm a great pumpkin carver. Maybe when j.lou comes to visit we'll carve pumpkins. I miss her. A LOT.
Moving on.
I've always made boyfriends a second-rate kind of thing in my head. Probably because I've never been around that block. I mean if you count the 17 day relationship I had with my TOTALLY serious eighth grade boyfriend. Or you could count the 5 day relationship in seventh grade. Whatevs. The basic point is: Sarah Eileen isn't really into the whole relationship thing. Boys take up time, a morsel of which I have leftover after I'm done doing all the things I need to do to further improve and excel in my life. I've got time for friends. I'm not sure how I'd fit in the emotional aspect of a boyfriend. Obviously I know how I'd fit in the physical but that's the easy part. I prefer to keep boys on the sideline and pull them onto the field when I have time (haha! as close to a sports reference I'll ever get) Although I would appreciate having someone to snuggle with at night. God willing he won't be a mouth breather.
And usually any boy I take an interest in becomes a friend of mine. Two of my best friends are men (straight men). One has had an amazingly profound influence on my life as well. Let's applaud him.
And of course I should insert a shout out to my gay here: LUH YOU BABY!

(INTERMISSION: OHMYFUCK THE ELEPHANTS ABOVE ME HAVE CAUSED MY PICTURES ON THE WALL TO CONSTANTLY SHAKE. I HATE NEIGHBORS!!! I literally don't understand how they can stomp SO. GOD. DAMN. LOUDLY.)

So yeah....I mean the major I've chosen doesn't exactly leave time for a social life. I do what I can but if I want to succeed I have to stay in my apartment all the time and do homework (AND LISTEN TO THE ZUMBA LESSONS UPSTAIRS. FUCK. I am literally going to go up there and beat them over the head with my pumpkins)
Bottom line: I guess I'm not ready for someone to potentially distract me from my main goal in life: to be awesome and rich. Although I'm already planning my wedding....whatever it's a puzzle I guess I lost some pieces.
I do know this: I do not want to be an old spinster and there is no way I'll be a cat lady (gross). So I guess bag lady is the answer? But what will I put in the bags??