The funeral party is off the hook

Just another night on the town with d.mann. He's really a classy counterpart for a night on the town.
We have $28 collectively.
The evening begins with some Bud Light, the Red Skins game and......wait. Anyone who knows me knows that I do not drink beer and I hate football. Well Bud Light is the cheapest thing, saving me a dollar per drink if I drink mixers, so sacrifices are being made. Secondly, d.mann is obsessed with what I like to call Sports Center. Maybe some others call it that too.
So we're playing pool (free pool and fooz ball (phooz?) at the Junction) and then of course I lose, but put up a valiant effort with distraction methods involving my high heeled foot on the table edge and perhaps other body parts.
So we're getting bored. And decide to move on to another bar for perhaps better company.
Drive-by Polly's. No good. Just three huge tired trucks in the parking lot. Not our game.
d.mann "we could 'cross the bridge'"
myself "that sounds CLASSY"
As we cross the bridge we notice an INSANE amount of vehicles (for up north that is) outside of the C&R bar. We get out of the car and there is a giant crowd outside the door.
myself "I don't want to go in"
d.mann is convincing. So we enter. I'm accosted by a fellow lady outside the door who is well on her way to classy, who've I've dubbed on a previous eventide Mimi RompAround. She asked, I delivered.
So we're in the bar and after we mingle tingle a bit we begin to realize that people keep talking about this guy that died a couple days before. Then we realize there is a slideshow playing. And then we realize some guests are very depressing in their sadness. I leaned over and whispered to d.mann, "We are totally Chaz from wedding crashers and we are CRASHING this funeral party." THEN we see the table filled with food.
d.mann and I promptly place ourselves next to the table and survey the goods. After he eats approximately an entire platter of taco dip and I eat all the watermelon off a fruit tray, we decide it's a good time to update my facebook status. (d.mann isn't quite the facespace type, so we were operating with only one member) After pondering a while we decide it should say "the funeral party is off the hook with d.mann!"
We left there, went back to the Junction where d.mann made a feeble attempt to beat some pros at pool, and I used the employee bathroom which I am somehow entitled to.
That of course was a short rendition, but I have to say...I'm pretty impressed with myself. Keep in mind there was no sign saying this was a quote "funeral after party." However, a man at the bar that I got stuck talking to seemed to assume that everyone there was involved in this man's life. Um...sir it is a bar on Friday evening, not everyone is going to be in mourning. While we're discussing my talk with this man, whose name I believe to be Roger (but I call him 'teeth,' I'll leave it open to your imagination why), I'll elaborate on my encounter. So I see he's looking at me and I say "hey man what's up." (I find it's easier to keep men at bay if you speak to them in an un-lady-like manner). He begins a rant about the funeral man's smile, how wonderful he was, you know, the typical things you hear at a funeral, which is totally okay, I'm just being supportive. Then he says "I mean...I don't know how well you knew him."
myself "um........not very well."
Excuse sir teeth but my aforementioned argument clearly states that it is a bar and it's Friday. It does not mean I am here for a funeral.
Thank Jesus d.mann decided then was a good time to check on me and Teeth, and I gave him a slightly distressed look so he decided we should leave.
Anyways, I'm still impressed.

We'll just pretend that this stripper is d.mann at the funeral. This is basically just as ridiculous as the night we had.